I wrote this for my Dad's birthday in April. He likes cats.
Taking a stroll in the Mediterranean moonlight
In an alley bathed in that glorious white
I encountered a cat as black as the sky
And an emerald sparkling in each round, frightened eye
I knelt down to stroke its small head
But it mewed in surprise and across the street fled
Before it turned back to me and said in a voice full of grace
That this cat had come from Outer Space
It had not opened its mouth nor made a sound
Simply sat there with olive eyes so bright and profound
It talked to me in my brain, using feline telepathy
This remarkable cat had ESP!
Naturally I took it home and ran scientific tests
Performed various experiments despite its mewling protests
And whenever my sweet wife knocked at the door
I’d turn off the lights and pretend to snore
No one could ruin my chances of fame!
Of taking this space cat and making it tame
Using it to rule the world, well, somehow
With its wise little whiskers and omnipotent meow
But one night my wife found me probing the cat
I was taking X-rays and wearing my tinfoil hat
She screamed, locked me in, and phoned the police
That’s when my work, well, it had to cease
Of course they promptly had me committed
The nature of my research, I openly admitted
No one would believe it had come from space!
That this kitten belonged to an alien race
Before I could stop them they whisked it away
Doubtless, they relinquished it to the CIA
I had no chance to say farewell to the miraculous thing
For they gave me a shot, and boy did it sting!
I tell you my story in the hope you’ll believe
Of the miracles I swear that I have perceived
The extraterrestrial feline I myself have looked at
The marvelous, the spectacular—the psychic space cat!