So This is The New Year...

And that wasn't a boring title. It was a reference to a great song by a great band named after yet another great song by yet another great band. I will link to that song at the end of this post.

I don't have any resolutions. At least, not yet. I like the idea of New Year's Resolutions because it's a tradition and a healthy one at that. And I like traditions. Not necessarily tradition, but traditions. I might work on getting some resolutions together, but probably not. :) It's like what I told Ash. Usually when I try to adopt that kind of attitude, it turns out like this:



In hindsight, it's been a pretty excellent year. I've grown a lot. Maybe not physically, but in other ways. Yeah, unfortunately, I haven't grown any taller in like a year or two. I'm not complaining, because I'm 5'10, but I doubt I'll ever achieve my dream of hitting six feet. Unless I get that surgery where they replace all the bones in my legs with bones from the legs of a horse like from Pushing Daisies. Damn, that was a great show. I don't know why they ever cancelled it.

A lot of stuff has happened. I changed so much. When I was in third grade, my image of myself in high school involved skateboarding, wearing sunglasses all the time, being a spy part-time, playing basketball and baseball on the Varsity team, and dating a girl who looked like my current celebrity crush at the time...Lizzie McGuire. I'd honestly just love to go back in time and announce to my past-self that, well, I'm in high school, and I've joined the musical, the school's literary magazine, have NEVER been skateboarding, listen to classical music, and have a poster of Albert Einstein in my room. Then I'd like to punch him in the face, for being such an annoying little fuck face.

I got my first ever pair of Converse All-Stars today. I know people say whoever wears them anymore is just a wannabe, but I just think they're awesome shoes. My feet have never felt so classy.

I'm sleeping in a tent tonight in my backyard. It was just a sort of impulsive thing, but it worked out, because I'll be able to listen to the fireworks while I'm drifting off to sleep.

Do any of you use DeviantArt? I wanna get one, so it would help if there were some people already on it who I knew who could help me get settled. Just like moving! Ha ha. I just made what's called an analogy.

I think that's about all I have to say. Expect a guest post soon from Kat, who wrote the last fantastic guest post that blew all your minds.

Oh wait! One more thing! Have all of you still been reading The Toble Chronicles and promoting it to your friends? If it doesn't start making some ground, it's going to shrivel up and die like Nicolas Cage's acting career. I poured two grand into this. So SHARE IT ON FACEBOOK. Or TWEET IT. Whatever the hell you people do nowadays. But I would be ever so grateful. And I would definitely make an effort to return the favor somehow. I'll do whatever you want. Wink. Wink. Wink. Whatever. You. Want. Wink. Nudge. Wink. Wink.

(I'll have sex with you.)

So I guess, Happy New Years Eve, huh? Looking forward to another great year. Just hoping the world doesn't end, huh? Heh heh. (Nervous laughter.)

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE!!!!



Here's that great song I was talking about, by the BTW.

Au revoir!

-Christopher

The Mystery Train: A Poem

The sunset’s last rosy fingerprints have disappeared from the heavens
And the moon hovers in the air, an unblinking eye
Pale silver clouds hang limply above the roofs of little houses
Clouds spun from some celestial spinning wheel
A dark tsunami of silence comes crashing over the earth
Yet the trees grow restless and arch
Their creaking spines

Through the silence come the faint, wheezing gasps
The fast, tinny breaths—the muffled roar
Of some ghostly locomotive, gliding through the night like
A creature in the darkest depths of the ocean
I can hear it stumble over the terrain on its screeching wheels
As I listen to its heavy, metallic respiration from
Beyond my bedroom window—while I lie in bed tasting
The first glowing dew drops of dreams
I wonder where this mystery train is heading
I ask myself where it has come from
Perhaps from some fantastic land with winged beasts
And whispering ghouls, towering cities
Sculpted from ice or rock or consisting
Of smoking factories, clanking machines that cough and spit
Cities filled with merchant spirits and
Cantankerous sorcerers and scholarly wolves
That wear spectacles and have tea at midday
I imagine it’s heading to a place even more extraordinary
Woven from the sparkling fabrics of my dreams
I lie in bed listening to its ethereal whistle, its bellowing horn
Marveling at the wonders of this
Mystery train

Capitalism: A Poem

It grows like barnacles on the sides of wood ships
Gnawing and sucking with its cold, flabby lips
It is a rust that corrodes a metal once sleek
A bacteria that blackens a once-youthful cheek

It's a clanking machine that coughs and vomits oil
An unearthly worm that resides in the soil
In the daylight it gleams and flaunts its parts
But in the darkness it wheezes and feeds on men's hearts

It grows larger and larger like some mutant swine
Grunting and licking the meat from men's spines
It wraps its tentacles around the earth
Drinking its life with grotesque mirth

From death and despair this monster was built
Under its shadow, the world will deaden and wilt
Yet we cling onto it like infants, disgustingly reliant
On this foul, vampiric creature--this bloodthirsty giant

Merry Christmas, Kittens

I love Christmas Break. I really do.

You know, some high school students get out of school for the holidays and just sort of slump over like those fainting goats. Others take expensive trips and go skiing and wha wha wha wha. But I have a simple break, while at the same time a very productive one.

I wake up at 6 every morning and bike 15 miles to the nearest gym. I eat healthy, get exercise, write loads of poetry, and I speed read. Just in the past week I've already read Dante's Inferno, Milton's Paradise Lost, and a number of Shakespearean plays. I organize my room, then the rest of the house, and I garden. I feed the poor, pick up trash, and my smile ends wars. There's just no stopping me when I'm in my good, Christmas Break mood.

Then when school starts again I turn into a vegetable

But I'm enjoying myself. Like I said, we have a pretty simple Christmas. Right now I'm celebrating by eating a lot of mini-pretzels and listening to She&Him's fantastic Christmas album. Zooey Deschanel's rendition of "Silver Bells" is so pure it makes me blush.

I'm going to conclude this post with something that I'm sure will surprise none of you: a picture of a kitten in a Santa Claus hat.



Frohe Weihnachten!

-Christopher

My Superhero Alter-Ego

Okay, Lex, here it is: THE HEAD. Yep, that's his name. Just...The Head.



His body may seem small, and it is, but his head is large. And so is his heart. But also, his head is. And, in case you can't read, it possesses magical powers of sorcery.

So can I join the league now?

-Christopher